Pavlov’s President…

By: J Robert Giles

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“A burned hand teaches best.”   -  J.R.R. Tolkien

 

 

When you were a kid, did you ever burn your hand on the stove? How about when you were finally allowed to start using the oven to prepare your after school snacks and whatnot. How many times did you burn your hand on the heating coil? If you’re like most humans, the sum total of your flesh melting “teachable moments” could probably be measured on one, slightly scarred hand. In other words, it doesn’t require a series of skin grafts and unimaginably painful surgeries to repair the damage left by years upon years of burning your hand on the stove. It’s a lesson that is normally learned pretty quickly. Tolkien was right…..pain is the ultimate teacher. Fear of pain is the best  motivator. Memory of pain is the best encouragement. Freedom from pain is the best measure of success. Why then does our fearless leader not learn the same lessons?

If Barack Hussein Obama cares as much about the economy as he claims then it should feel like a part of his body. It should feel like an extension of himself because that’s how passion drives a man. If he cared about the economy as much as he says he does, it would literally cause him pain when he burns it with the blistering heat of failure. He would learn lessons quickly and would not venture into similar endeavors down the road. It usually takes a toddler about ONE time to learn not to stick his or her tongue in an exposed electrical outlet but our sovereign leader sits atop his throne of arrogance and dismisses our fears as he dangles our collective future over yet another flame.

Recently, in another example of liberal investment practices, Obama and his cronies find themselves defending against outrage from the complete failure of another in a long line of enormous investments. Remember when Obama-lama took office and kept announcing new program after new program and smiling at each and every one of us as he spent more and more of our money on projects and bureaucracies none of us wanted? It seemed like the chosen one was having country saving idea after country saving idea; or at least that’s what he and his clueless followers told us. Now that we are beginning to harvest the fruits of Barack Almighty’s wisdom, it appears he planted orchards upon orchards of taxpayer funded Failure Trees. The latest example of the boomerang of stupidity coming back to smack that guy renting the White House in his ego-crippled head is the constantly mentioned electric car industry and the support given to it by this administration. That support came in the form of $400 million of our money to just one company.

  Whenever Obama and his little buddies get a chance to discuss these ineffective little toys they become so excited they forget to piddle on the newspaper with which the Secret Service was forced to line the floor of the Oval Office. They throw these dazzling descriptions of the style, power, and environmental benefits of these vehicles but the reality is that none of the hype holds up to honest inspection. Obama predicted one million electric cars on American roads by 2015. Bold…..courageous….visionary…..  Okay, I get it. Let’s see……I, the great J. Robert Giles, hereby predict that I will possess the ability to not only fly, but to read minds by 2013. There….it’s out there. I’m brave. I’m a visionary. Follow me you weak and desperate souls. All kidding aside, these so called “Green Energy Investments” are fun to think about. These are the kinds of investments whose prospectus reads more like a children’s book; some even have hand drawn illustrations. (Not sure if that’s true or not, so let’s not dwell on it, okay?) Yes, we would all love to leave a much cleaner world for our children than the one in which they now live but the US Government is most assuredly not the general to lead that charge. Capitalism and good old fashioned, free enterprise and entrepreneurial spirit will accomplish that feat while the government looks for ways to exploit, tax, and regulate the technology. After all, that’s exactly what they’ve done with the auto-industry. Obammunism has blasted it’s way through the doors of GM with bailouts and ridiculously childish dreams. They have used their own political strength to force heinous looking vehicles with untested safety features onto our roads. Electric cars are great to think about, but they’re impractical. Still, they’re a pipe-dream of the left, and Obama is the left’s leader, so naturally he pressured anyone he could.

And now the results…..Obama estimated 3,000 new jobs in Michigan would come from his highly pressured investment of $400 million of taxpayer money into A123 Systems. This is a Michigan based battery maker that was supposed to lead the ‘charge’ in the electric car industry. Instead, after receiving four-hundred-million of our dollars, they recently announced layoffs. Not 3,000 new “shovel-ready” jobs, but layoffs. Perhaps they bought into the Great Hype-mentum of 2008 as well. They believed the illogical, fairy-tales spewing from the mouth of the man with as much knowledge about anything as two years of questionable experience can possibly lend. Obama’s prediction of 1 million e-cars on the road by 2015 had better get a big gust of wind in it’s sails or that too will fall way short of uneducated estimates. Last year, GM reported that they sold 1,000 Chevy Volts. That’s out of 187,000 cars sold. Could it be because they only travel 30-40 miles on battery power and then have to recharge for TEN FREAKING HOURS? Could it be because they are uglier than homemade shoes? Could it be that once again, Obama used influence to pressure an indebted company to put forth a product that none of us want, but we are all paying for? Hey, if he was able to get 1,000 people to buy one of these hideous things, could he also be responsible for Ugg boots?

These cars that cut down on the emissions our kids breathe, the ones with the confusing commercials featuring actors that make you question Hollywood’s idea of beautiful, are not doing nearly as much as you are being told. Obama wants one million on the road by 2015. There are 250-million cars in America, genius! One million isn’t going to do a damned thing. Yes, I get it, you have to start somewhere but forcing unreliable cars with unfavorable abilities down the throats of Americans at our own expense is absurd. Especially when the continued investment of our money into unproven technologies is done so carelessly. Even if we get one million of these ugly little, suped-up golf carts out there on the road, they still get their power from enormous, coal burning, emissions belching, power plants making the overall impact of Obama’s great vision  negligible at best. That’s like washing your whites with red wine because it’s somehow better for them. I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it until we see him and his revolting arrogance waving goodbye to us and the White House forever……you’re in over your head Mr. President and you need to step aside. You have approval ratings that would make Jimmy Carter look like his successor, and you continue to waste our money chasing your own stupid ideology. You have the nerve to go on 60 Minutes and compare yourself to a courageous ship captain in violent seas who is leading a scared mass of passengers through these uncertain times? You really think that “the passengers will always complain when the water tosses them around a bit” don’t you? You honestly believe that you are at the helm, just hanging on until you can prove that you are indeed the great leader you see in your head, right? We’re still just whining, huh? Get the hell out of my way, moron! YOU are the one causing the troubled seas. We were all enjoying a dinner cruise until your brilliant ideas started slamming into the water. The turbulence we’re all “whining” about is caused by your failure. 

It’s easy to see why Obama doesn’t learn from burning his hand on the fire of failure as often as he does. It’s not HIS flesh that he’s pressing against the red-hot heating element…..it’s YOURS!! Wake up, use that blistered, toughened palm to slap this buffoon out of office before he dreams and “invests” us right into catastrophe. Make no mistake, we’re right on the brink. Don’t fool yourself.

As always, thanks for playing.

J. Robert Giles

 

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