Saturday, October 8, 2011


Am I alone in my unyielding hatred of regret? I’m not too proud to admit when I am wrong because as most of you know, it doesn’t happen all that often. Seriously, that sounds like a condescending, somewhat arrogant statement, but it is an unquestionable truth that most of what comes out of my mind is pure gold. It’s mental energy from which mankind can only benefit. I’m also a very humble man. (There is a chance that I have what you might call a “tenuous grasp” on the definition of the word “humble”.) The very concept of regret means that you are looking back at events, conversations, or actions of your past and wishing you had generated a different outcome in one way or another. Maybe it was the event itself you would have changed. Maybe it’s the words you chose. Often, it’s the thoughts you held in your head; the mental reaction you have to events as they unfold.

We’ve all had those moments where we think of the perfect response to a conversation that ended hours ago. We’ve all spent tons of energy preparing for, constructing, or implementing something only to find later that there was a much easier way. Occasionally, regret is necessary. Regret is often part of a punishment, or a required component in a process. Regret is often the only way for a person to accept that change is needed. Regret is often the only thing that keeps a former prison inmate from becoming a recidivism statistic. I understand all that. I understand the importance of regret in the human experience but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I understand the importance of Police in our society, but that doesn’t mean I want them behind me in traffic. Understanding regret doesn’t mean that at the age of 38; I have to enjoy being called to task by my father when I screw up. Too often, that’s exactly how regret goes. Someone points out to you that your over-inflated opinion of yourself has made you look foolish. The degree of regret depends entirely upon the severity of action, but it’s almost never fun.

Last week, I published a few posts that my Dad pointed out may have contained some language that didn’t necessarily speak to the kind of man I consider myself to be. While I190228_1002400576248_1111833000_5467_2628_n still maintain that I could have been much worse in some of my opinions, I have to agree that the excitement of sharing all of these thoughts allowed me to do so in an often inappropriate manner. I hereby publicly apologize to my father. I will post a picture of him from the eighties in a future post for his insubordination, but I apologize nonetheless. You’re right.

Regret most often requires us to admit wrongdoing in one way or another. That’s not easy for us to do as humans; especially men. I have big regrets that have cost me relationships I actually cared about and I have small regrets for which my wife makes sure I atone. Parents often have regret over the words they chose to use with their children in the midst of difficult situations and I’m no different. Husbands often have regret over stubborn behavior used to gain control in what eventually proved to be a ridiculously unimportant issue in their marriage. Again, I’m no different.

Okay, all this open admission of wrongdoing has really worn me out. Seriously folks, you’ve just read about a decade’s worth of apology and self incrimination on my part. I hope you’re all happy.

Hope your weekends are shaping up to be as terrific as the one I am currently enjoying.

Thanks for playing.