Monday, March 5, 2012

Not All Women Are Flukes…

By: J Robert Giles

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“All sympathy not consistent with acknowledged virtue is but disguised selfishness.”   - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

By now you’ve most likely heard the sad tale of Sandra Fluke; the bright eyed, naive young woman attending Georgetown Law School with no clue as to the sexual workings of this big world in which we city-folk all live. Oh wait, that’s a different story. The Sandra Fluke you might have heard of in recent weeks is actually a THIRTY year old women’s rights Not All Women Are Flukes... activist who carefully reviewed the Insurance Policies at Georgetown and then committed her attendance with the sole intention of battling what she sees as an oppressive violation of her rights. You see, Georgetown has the audacity to not provide, via insurance coverage, birth control devices or services to it’s many, many, drunken, frat-partying, sexually active student body. How dare they, right? I’m still having a difficult time wrapping my head (no pun intended) around her whole argument. I made it almost four decades on this earth without ever being handed a free condom. Why is this suddenly a Congressional matter? It wouldn’t have anything to with politics, would it?

The left wants us to believe that the expense of condoms and other forms of birth control is so burdensome to women in colleges across the country that Congress simply had to act before lives were in danger. This is complete nonsense. This is a cleverly executed tactic the left used to make us voice disgust. Rush called her a “slut” and the left has completely lost their minds, but this outrage is so manufactured it’s sickening. Am I seriously expected to believe that the left cares about personal attacks? They make it sound as if this innocent little farm-girl was plopped naked into the center of a campus crawling with predatory men lusting after her milky flesh. That is simply not the case. More than likely, Sandra Fluke is the kind of girl we all remember from college. The girl with the bad haircut and the awkwardly fitting clothing that hung out by the guacamole all night making cool people uncomfortable. She was the one that would storm home alone after watching her more promiscuous friends leave with the guys she secretly “liked.” The left wants us to believe that she’s just a typical college student trying to get by and make ends meet but the fact remains that she’s going to a $70,000 per year law school and a box of 100 Trojan Condoms can be delivered to your home for under $40. You do the math!

Men, when shown a picture of Sandra Fluke have not exactly responded in a way that helps her veiled, “can’t buy condoms fast enough” Congressional description of her life. Most common are responses like “eww, she’s like 30, bro” ….or…. “you mean that girl with the mustache? Ugh, I’d wear two condoms.” My personal response when I first saw her image was “Do they make eye-condoms?” While she may want me to believe that there are thousands of unsheathed erections chasing her around campus each day, I have a tough time believing that this young woman with her stated political aspirations and Hillary-esque pantsuits could possibly need more than $40 worth of birth control each month. To put it as lightly as I’m willing to put it… way is she having more than 100 sexual encounters each month! All kidding aside, I do have a few questions I would like to hear Madame Fluke answer at some point.

  1. You know Obama just gave you $40 per paycheck in Payroll Tax Deductions, right? That’s 200 condoms a month. Could you possibly scrape by with that?
  2. Do you feel that your “unique situation” demanded a personal phone call from the President of the United States? Before you answer, please understand that the families of the soldiers killed in Afghanistan as a result of his “apology” last week will only be receiving a form letter with a hastily scribbled signature at the bottom of the page. What makes you so much more worthy of Presidential outreach than the families of those six soldiers or any soldiers for that matter?
  3. Bill Maher called Sarah Palin a “dumb twat.” New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has to put up with more fat-jokes than Free Brownie Day at Lane Bryant. Andrew Breitbart’s death was greeted with absolutely horrendous response from those on your side of the political aisle, yet you feel as though we owe you a special pass, Ms Fluke. Does that seem like the “fairness” your liberal god demands?
  4. Is it true that you and Nancy Pelosi are doing a swimsuit calendar? If yes, is it also true that you are planning to pay people to take them?
  5. Why do you feel, Ms Fluke, that freedom of speech should be applied to the porn industry where “slut” is pretty much the nicest thing a woman gets called, but it should cease to apply to conservative talk show hosts? Again, is that a liberal’s idea of fair?
  6. Do you honestly believe that you are a strong voice for women? Should I teach my daughters to look up to the woman who believes others should fund her carelessness or should I teach them that they are strong enough to say “NO” to the man who can’t at least afford his own rubber? (Seriously, what kind of losers are you dating?! Condoms are $0.75 at the gas station up the street. Send me the quarters you were going to use to wash that aforementioned pantsuit and I’ll send you a few of them! Maybe even one of those glow-in-the-dark ones since I assume your lovemaking does NOT occur with the lights on.)
  7. Have you ever typed the word “slut” into Google? If yes, can you honestly say that a) there’s a huge public outrage over the general use of this word, or b) that you look like ANY of the images that appear?

This whole Fluke-ing issue is just another fabricated distraction that the left is deploying to take our eyes off the prize. They will make this one issue, the contraception mandate, the most important issue in this election. I mean, if we’re so consumed with proving that contraception is not the job of the government and we waste all our time, money, energy, and voice on this issue, how will we point out all the glaring failures in Obama’s performance as President? By giving this Fluke-ing idiot more than fifteen minutes of our attention, we are taking pressure off. We are allowing them to convince the masses that things are improving. We are giving them space to convince the bleating sheep that jobs are overrated and that battery operated cars are the status symbol we all aspire to own. Did anyone notice, amidst all this contraception nonsense, that Chevy announced they are stopping production on the slow selling, fast burning Chevy Volt for “at least five weeks?” Story was cleverly suppressed, huh? Stop playing into their nonsense and keep the focus where it needs to be. Keep the pressure on. If they get upset, assume it’s a ploy. If they try to bait you into conversation, assume their partner is sneaking up behind you. Keep your head on a swivel and your eyes on the prize. The next distraction they roll out might actually be attractive. What will we do then?

As always, thanks for playing.


J Robert Giles


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